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Free guide · 12-page PDF

Come back to the relationship after a hard moment.

A calm, printable sequence for naming impact, taking responsibility, understanding each other, and agreeing on one repair.

  • Know whether you are ready to talk—or need a pause first.
  • Use sentence starters that lower blame and defensiveness.
  • Leave with one repair that is specific enough to keep.

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Printable US Letter · 12 pages · No account required

Cover of The Repair Conversation Guide
Designed to use together, one move at a time.

Inside the guide

One conversation. Five moves.

The sequence is simple on purpose. You do not have to solve the whole marriage tonight.

  1. 01

    Settle

    Get steady enough to stay present.

  2. 02

    Name

    Describe one moment and its impact.

  3. 03

    Own

    Take responsibility without defending.

  4. 04

    Understand

    Reflect back what you heard.

  5. 05

    Repair

    Choose one specific action.

An important limit

This guide is for ordinary relationship hurt and disconnection. It is not a tool for negotiating with abuse, threats, intimidation, coercive control, or physical danger.

Find safety resources

Use it for one repair

The guide helps you return. It does not force readiness.

Repair works best when both people are steady enough to stay with one event, responsibility is voluntary, and the goal is understanding and action rather than quick forgiveness. If either person is still overwhelmed, begin with a responsible pause and a credible time to return.

The downloadable guide gives you a sequence and sentence starters. The related articles explain why each part matters and what to do when the conversation keeps escalating.